So I'm suddenly in the mood to blog again. How I wish that I could just telepathy in my blog post instead of typing it out on my iPad.

Got to know of a few friends of about the same age as me planning their ROMs and weddings recently. Yes, I do know that I'm not exactly very young and I'm of marriageable age already. But come on, I don't even have an inkling of what life is being attached, let alone imagine how on earth my friends can come to the decision of getting married. Even getting attached seems so scary now that I'm older.

Meet a used-to-be close friend of mine recently as well. He remembered that years ago, he threw in a bet with me that I would be attached by the time Year 1 in NUS ended. He was so so wrong, along with so many other people as well. I remembered these friends saying 'don't worry, if no one wants you by the end of year X, I'll marry you. You're such a nice girl, why worry that you can't find one?' I get that way too often.

It's untrue that I'm not wanted by any (used to say that. Now I eat my words.) I had my fair share of almost-there relationships (ambiguous but never once attached), guys who I had to really put it upfront that I'm not interested and of course the ones that pulverized my heart (learnt the phrase from a novel I spotted in Popular). But The One? I'm really not sure about that.

Every time I think 'maybe this is it', it fades away. Sometimes it's just a step away and then poof! Someone just turns off the light. It's pretty exhausting you know.

And so the friend I met asked me upon our meeting 'you're still evergreen? What's wrong with you?'. Firstly, if I knew the answer to that, I would have solved the problem long ago. Secondly, thanks bro thanks. Do I really have a problem? Maybe I'm just out of luck at the very last minute all the time.

The funny thing is I always have a guy very close to me at almost every phase of my life. Sometimes our lives are so entwined, I wonder if we are already in a relationship, just minus anything physical. Makes me think about the one right now. Far far away at the moment. But will I get a favorable answer in 1.5months time? (Pretty sure he ain't reading this) What answer is a favorable answer?

Perhaps I'll forever be that best girl friend with a space in between the girl and friend. Yes, a 'space'.

To all my friends planning their next phase of life, you have my utmost blessings and my own bewilderment. I wish you a great life ahead and much happiness with your other half!

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road