Went running with Mich yesterday. Walked into SSC room. Everyone stared. Someone in the room asked, ‘what you doing here? Coming AGM?’. I thought ‘ shit, i shouldn’t have stepped in’. Didn’t want reality to hit me smack on the face again. But yet it did. And hard. Kyn was there, so i thought it would still be ok. But the sense of not knowing what’s going on anymore is like ice-cold water being flushed down onto me. We don’t belong there anymore. Mich thought so too.

Had a long talk with her after running. Ran the 5km fun run route. Felt damn good after running. Runner’s high, they call it. But somewhere deep inside, there was a heavy feeling in both of us. Everything was still the same, but it just felt different. I guess we are still trying to find that much needed closure, somehow, someday. Maybe next year we’ll be able to make RunNUS a successful one. One that we can be proud of and announce to the world that we did it!

Sat in for AGM. Threw away that heavy feeling for just that one hour to wholeheartedly and sincerely support my friends in their official executive committe ceremony or whatever that is called.

To the new executive committee, all the best for your upcoming year of office!

And I ought to move on. I love mugging. *rolls eyes*

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

I guess I shouldn’t hold back anything here even though I am very well aware that you are reading this. Shouldn’t be letting that knowledge affect the stuff that I usually do. For one, I’m not in some depression or anything. And I’m not a troubled person, for goodness sake. So just don’t come to any conclusions before you even really get to know me. I believe anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I’m far from having any problems with my head besides the tendency to have marathons of laughing fits. (I used to have ultra-marathons for that)

Putting aside that, anyone up for Nike Human Race? 24th Sept 2009. Probably going with Mich. Anyone wanna join us? 10km. Should start training now. Gosh, 10km is a long wayyyy. All the way Val. 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will. 5% pleasure, 15% pain and a 100% reason to remember the name – Nike Human Race.

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

Oh no. I'm being stalked by a million and one people. I mean my blog. Especially people who treat my blog like a Arts module reading eh? *Winks at JY* HAHA.

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

NUS Students’ Sports Club

I passed by the clubroom yesterday on my way in search of dinner. Alone, i stood outside the room, thinking if I should drop by to say hi.

Part of me yearns to go in with the hope i can find someone to crap, eat dinner with and play foosball. SSC room is a place that i found many many great friends and people that had similar frequencies. Its where i could be myself and heck care about the outside world. Its a place that i found joy being in NUS. The me that i found while working there was a world apart from the me in Year 1 which i felt more alone in my own faculty than anywhere else and to feel that way when i have friends around me.

he other part of me says no, with thoughts of unfinished work swimming in my head. Ok, there’s also this part of me that says : ‘you have no business there anymore, why would you want to go in? You are just intruding. ‘ Oh wells, that’s right. The emptiness of having an event no more. Yes, we have lots of post event stuff to clear, but that’s so not the same as having pre-event stuff to do. Post event just translates into seh-birdness.

Its not like I won’t ever go back there again, but it still feels different. I was asked by quite a few to join the Management Comm, but i guess my dad was right. I could never cope with so many things at once, especially now that i also have a tuition to go to. If i ever could, i would definitely stay at SSC full time, doing events, having fun with the rest. But reality is cruel, without a cert, no one can go anywhere. So its still back to academics at the end of the day.

Like i told Mich, its not the end yet. Hopefully i’ll be able to do some projects for SSC again in my short stay in NUS and hopefully with you guys too. Coz it is you guys that made my life in NUS so fulfilling. And perhaps doing another event would erase this feeling that i’m getting now. =]

Back to mugging and scrubbing toilet now. >.<

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

I’m at breaking point. Why can’t people just have some initiative? Doesn’t anyone care anymore? Everything is left there hanging on the wall yet no one bothers even a little to clear the clutter, to save our reputation. Why is it that there’s only some of us putting our heart and soul into this? Of course not everyone is like that and you know who you are. Its just that i trusted you guys to clear that side of things, but there doesn’t seem to be anything happening! Its not like only you guys are busy with stuff, i’m also busy with my own stuff. I’ve got piling lab reports undone, notes unread, reviews unwritten, and millions of emails undrafted. And please don’t tell me what the problems are AFTER the whole thing. If you could tell me those things, why didn’t you say so before or during the process? I don’t think i can take things sitting down anymore. Perhaps you don’t even feel for the rest of us. I didn’t think that this would be so tiring, draining on both the body and the soul.

Now i can only turn back and think, well i did my best. At least it was the rain that screwed things up. I tell myself to put all my belief into what ZH said, if not for the rain, our event would be the best and most successful one. This way, it wouldn’t be so painful.

The only things that holds me through this now is my passion for event management and the few of you guys. Tell me why i’m in Chemistry and not management. Come on people, let’s get this over and done with.

Gambatte, to you and to myself. (this was written just after collating the volunteer lists and replying their emails. Bit emo, don’t ya think?)

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

RunNUS 09. Its over.

I can’t believe it is. It was just the day before and I lost track of time. The two days that we were preparing for it (not counting the 5 months planning and preparation) felt like an eternity. We didn’t sleep, most ate only a little and we all ran around the place like crazy people. And to think that our event would end this way was too much to take.

It ended way before it should. And it was all because of the damn rain. All our efforts washed away by the rain waters. I know there was no way we could do anything, i know we’ve all put in our best (at least i know i did). But to see the participants and volunteers coming in droves to run in our event and yet we had to turn them away was heart-wrenching. They took the time off from their busy schedules to come all the way to NUS just for our run and we couldn’t do anything but to disappoint them. I don’t care whether my efforts were appreciated, i don’t care if my work and plannings all got washed down the drain, I just didn’t want to see so many disappointed faces. It sucks man, really.

To my dear friends Zhi and WY who came down to support me as a volunteer for my event, thanks so very very much for specially coming down to help out. And despite the rain and cold you guys didn’t complain much at all. A truckload of thanks to both of you and of course i’m very sorry too. Hope you guys are ok after braving the winds and rain.

To my other good friends that came for the run, Jon, WX, Fab, Law (whom i have met at the carnival) and many more, THANKS FOR COMING DOWN FOR THE RUN! So sorry that it had to end this way. I guess you guys didn’t even get to run at all. Sorry about that. =( Hope you guys liked the shirt and race packs (with love from Marketing Cell).

To my Beloved Project Director/Mr Ow/Da Sao and Beloved Project Advisor/ Lao Ban/Da Shu Shu, thanks for bringing us through the entire thing. You guys have taught me a whole lot of things about event management which i may never get to learn anywhere else. You guys taught me how to fight fire in times of emergency and showed me what reliability was, that we could always count on you. I guess through this event, you guys worked the hardest. But remember, must take care of yourselves arh, don’t SEH BIRD! I think there isn’t enough words for me to express my deepest thanks to you guys. Oh and the memories of foosball. Oh my dear lord, they are the best.

To my Marketing Cell, thanks for all the precious memories of working together. Doing up the proposals, emails, calling up sponsors, meeting up with them, etc. We always degressed from our ‘maaaiiinnn ppooiinntt....’ and we all know Karn loves ‘ Banana shake banana shake’. Times when Alana hates the Black (arising from the dirty panda) and we buying her a dark choc cake, when Mich kept taking pictures of us secretly and singing us songs of Gummy bears, when Ivan became the 1000-arms GuanYin when he packed the race packs and i couldn’t stop laughing at him, when Karn got high and started his head bangings. So many memories, so little time. Was so great knowing you guys. Thanks for all that.

To our dear Secretary YL, thanks for working with me so closely through the whole event planning. I’m so thankful there’s someone like you who can match my frequency, share my joy and laughter, appreciates Can can mee with me, share my worries and anxiety about the event and our o-commers welfare, go crazy singing ‘lonely’ with me. An aeroplane-load of thanks for all that, will need an eternity to say all my thanks to you. Love ya lots.

To my beloved dearest Solar power, XY. If not for your connections, i doubt i would ever end up in this o-comm. Thanks so much. And also thanks for just being around me when i need it. For you, there’s so much other things that i need to thank you for too. Twice an eternity wouldn’t be enough to cover the past eight years.

To the rest of my beloved o-comm, Thanks for being there, planning and dreaming about this event together. My very first o-comm in uni. Though the event had to be cancelled due the rain, it was what we did together that mattered the most. Heck with the rain. The memories created together can never be washed away by the rain , regardless of how heavy it is.

And last but not least, to all the sports camp / club people who came to help out. A GREAT BIG THANKS TO YOU GUYS, *BOWS*. Kynneth, thanks for helping us out with the timings and race packs, but please stop suan-ing me can? I already ‘ yi wen bu zhi’! Tashrif, thanks for being our permanent lorry driver (perhaps can give some tips on lorry driving to YP, like how to look out for humps.) =P Runi and the rest of those from sports camp, thanks for helping out for race packs and event carnivals etc etc etc. I’m really touched by you guys. THANK S SO MUCH.

Although it nearing the end (there’s still post event stuff to settle), I hope that our friendship doesn’t end here. I hope we can still create wonderful memories together. Maybe one day we can work as a team together again. Thanks to all of you. I love you guys.

Warmest regards,
Valerie Yeo (Ms)
RunNUS 09 Marketing Executive
NUS Students’ Sports Club

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road