Tuesday, November 30, 2010 9:23 PM
If you can't let go of the past, you'll never appreciate the present, never look forward to the future.
Something my friend wrote on his blog. (He doesn't know that I STILL read his blog. Just a habit. Long story.) Thought-provoking, I do agree with the statement. Harping on the past doesn't allow you to move forward. Yes, history helps us to understand mistakes that we made, cherish the times we had. But if one cannot get over issues in the past, living with constant regret, persistent 'what-if-it wasn't-like -that', then how are we ever going to enjoy the present? The past is something to cherish, not to dream of rewriting it again. Because, the only constant in the world is change. And time waits for no man.
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Friday, November 26, 2010 7:50 PM
I got the sudden urge to take a cab to the beach and yell vulgarities to the sea. It's not like I don't like to mug. It's the immense amount of things to cram into my particle-in-a-box confined brain at the last minute. I've extreme STM. The info that requires the memory needs to be crammed in just before the exam for me to be able to regurgitate at the right moment. I always have the thought that if I talk too much or sleep too much, the info in my brain will slip away into the surroundings. Ok, weird thinking there. LOL. My brain is getting a little wonky. Indirect energy gap, no energy momentum conservation, things can't come out straight. Plus the increased equilibrium vapor pressure around my brain, things are evaporating away.
Felt like I could breathe again after yesterday. =D It's time for me to search for some new love song, play it on the piano and fall in love with myself again. LOL. And let the picture do the talking. =]
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
1:04 AM
After tonight, I can safely say I've let you go. This is probably the best ending I could ever get out of this. Closure is just what I need with the end of this semester. Life goes on, everyone moves on. There were good times bad times but all were terribly worth remembering. I hereby put my pen down for this chapter and a new one begins. I've found back the splintered bits of my heart, left one piece with you just for keepsake. A tinge of happiness, a tinge of regret and some reluctance intertwined. But I should say it will be all for the better. The only thing I'm dreading is the high probability that such a storyline would happen all over again, an equally tiring one.
I have the sudden urge to cut my hair. Lol. I really wanna cut it short. The next time, I will. I will find back that courage to be who I wanna be. That something that was lost when I came to uni.
放手了。自己也自由了。
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Tuesday, November 23, 2010 10:45 PM
Character analysis by Doubutsu Uranai
You are Yellow Fawn, who tend to be idyllic, not pretentious, and seem to give an impression of a tomboy, and someone who hates to lose.
Nevertheless, you are a woman with gentle heart and rather old fashioned ways of thinking.
You enjoy having life with atmosphere, and shows consideration and care for others.
But you can be very fussy about your preferences.
You dislike anything that is dishonest, and have passion and cuteness.
Your weakness is that you can be bit selfish at times.
You are honest hard working person.
Relationships that you feel safe tend to be restricted, and therefore, you are easily influenced by people and situation around you.
You can not easily adapt to changes.
You think high of morality.
You are easily moved by tears, and are honest and sentimental sort of person.
You tend to restrict your self with your cautiousness, and this may result in isolation.
You tend to be difficult to get to know, and will require time to become friend with.
Nevertheless, once your character is understood, you will be able to keep a long and steady friendship.
If you keep doing favors for those people who always ask you, you may lose your good fortune.
So, be careful.
You are not a housewife type of person, but you can be dependent on your husband.
I guess its almost all truth (especially the part about passion and cuteness. =P) This is one of the most accurate ones so far, which is quite shocking since all you have to provide is your full name, date of birth and gender (which dear Himbo Teo put as MALE for me initially, churning out the results of a vvvvv quite personality. How wrong more could that be?) Try it at http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com/! =D
Exams have started. Mugging continues. I have attained a spiritual level of disallowing other thoughts and issues to penetrate my mind other than studies. And hopefully I can stay that way. Yes mugging is boring, but at least it keeps me happy. Times spent in school, times mugging with friends, eating lunch with friends all beat time at home alone and doing housework. LOL.
I came across this while slacking online at weheartit.com.
There's always a little truth behind every 'just kidding'
a little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'
a little emotion behind every 'I don't care'
and a little pain behind every 'It's okay'
Such little simple lines capture the essence of truth behind things that we often want to hide. Why can't we always be truthful to ourselves and to others? How honest can an honest person be?
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Thursday, November 18, 2010 10:37 PM
I CAN GO! YAYNESS!
So technically all those thinking about it the past three weeks have been wasted. It's okay, waste them also never mind. =D Feels like something got lifted off my shoulders. Today's a good day. No rain, cooling weather, good news, superb productivity, awesome brunch, even awesomer tea break and best of all, the 156 came straight after I got down from 151. =D
Now I'm just thinking, OMG it's my first time abroad with friends. A bit scary. HAHA. At least its with SC. Somehow, I don't know how, I feel safe. =] Such a big jump from the times when my first trip overseas myself could only be my honeymoon. How retarded was that?
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 6:57 PM
I
've been writing alot of crap out these days. They have been clouding my mind for quite some time already and writing them out is like some strong gust of wind blowing the haze away. Can't study when you're suffocating under the heavy shroud of haze.
I guess the gist of meditation and finding your inner peace is just to accept life as it is. To turn every unhappy issue into a learning point. Since things all happen for a reason anyways. OMG, I sound like some crappy saint that have been holed up in the mountain cave for way too long (like what Gil said, qian nian lao yao). If one can stop asking why couldn't I and what if I could, life is just much simpler.
I realised I'm one hell of a bipolar person. On the outside and on the inside. Within, I think too much. Without, usually I say things before the things even pass through the brain. I feel like I'm trying to suppress some inner demon (ah, besides the zzZ monster - which is really strong at times). >.<>
Please let all the crap be far far away from my mind for at least the time being. Let me focus and mug. Well, at the end of the day, money solves ALMOST all problems and I need good results to put me on a good career to earn good money. With that, I can buy my Apache helicopter, bright orange Ferrari, a chauffeur who can do drifting, three maids for my huge house (No to housework, totally), overnight Kbox sessions for all my friends and to see the world not through the television screen. Gosh, I'm starting to crap like crazy. That's the result of staying at home to mug.
Oh and since the holidays are coming sooooon, here's my biannual to-do list for the hols.
1. KBOX
2. Steamboat
3. Pool
4. Sentosa / Universal Studios de.... outside. I just wanna buy Reese la.
5. Shopping
6. Marina Barrage
7. Phototaking spree!
8. East Coast!
9. Kayaking 1star course
10. Xmas parrrrttttaaaaayyyy!!!!
Damn, Singapore really has nothing much to do. =(
P.S.
After writing so long, i really think this post is an ultimate crappy one. Sorry if I've wasted your time reading this. My brain is currently in fragments right now.
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
11:21 AM
I'm just tearing myself apart over stupid things. I know it's not worth the trouble and agony. But you know what is can't help it? I told myself to move back and let it go with the flow. I'm partly happy that you are happy but more sad that I cannot share your joy. I wanna get back up myself, wanna face the world in the manner I did in the past.
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
12:04 AM
I know it's that I can't help it. No one can either. I know that it's what it is, I can do nothing to change it. I know that it is going to be like that and will be. But I just can't stop myself from brooding over the fact that can't go for the trip for the last three weeks. It doesn't help that this trip thing revolves around my whole awesome log cell. It's not you guys fault anyways. I know somehow you know my situation and are leaving me to mug peacefully so that I won't think about it more even when I'm alr bound to Singapore. And I really appreciate ky talking to me just now. I feel bad that he would even think of the possibility of tweaking the itinerary so that I can go. Thank you so much. Totally saw the 'one for all, all for one' spirit there. But well, I don't wanna spoil your fun really and plus there isn't much of a chance that I can join even if you do. Guess it's only up to me now to put this mental burden down and get on with the mugging. What will be will be. Which is so applicable to the other thing bugging me these days. I'm so tired of it. Yet it'll never goes away.
想回到过去
试着让故事继续
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Saturday, November 13, 2010 1:45 PM
Another AWEEEESOME day. NUSSSC PRE-EXAM WELFARE TREAT. (ignore the fml-ing 8am physics paper that I took only 15 mins to complete)
The chocolate éclairs rock like crazy can. Frankly, I haven’t got enough of it. The turn-out for the night was so good we had to order more food at like around 8pm. The most stunning display of Singaporeanism of the night was this girl from Judo giving me her number so that I could call her to inform her when more food will be arriving so that she can come and ta-bao for 10 other fellow Judo peeps. Total stun. Everyone was all over the place. Felt like a housewarming of some sorts.
Highlight of the day was KARAOKE! WL took the mike and it sort of never really left him anymore. We should have bought another mike. LOL. He started with Linkin Park’s Numb, which he regretted starting on after the whole thing coz he was complaining that it cost him his voice. Epic LOL. The next one wasn’t any better – One night in Beijing. Machiam WL’s concert can. We all had to take cover from his yelps and screaming into the mike. But it was super hilarious la. I’ve never laughed so much for quite some time le. Sang a GERMAN song which has only three words throughout the whole song – Du Hast Mesh. Laugh until cry can. Sang malay and Korean too. To extremely comical effect. Siti Noralizah. OMG.
Then it was Jiansheng. OMG. He really ‘can sing’. What beautiful howling to the moon. HAHA. Ok la, all for entertainment sake. I totally appreciate the faces they threw for the benefit of the audience. Half the time we were all wondering if the speakers would breakdown or the glass panels would shatter.
The songs we sang became emo-er and emo-er and emo-er as the night went past. Besides the horrible but entertaining yelps, I should say that there’s quite a number of us who can sing. Especially the guys since I’ve always known that finding a good guy singer is like searching for a needle in the hay stack. Special mention - KY’s voice is awesome. SW’s voice is super deep super man kind la. WL’s yelling half the time, but actually his voice’s quite good too (when he even sings seriously, without all the artificial slangs and yelps. LOL) CW’s Chinese cannot make it, just like mine. Can’t read the words on the screen. HAHA.
Had occasional mah-jong here and there, a little of the drinking session. JS was super high over alcohol. We all think he was emo yesterday. HY came over to join us too. When you add me JY and HY up, all you’ll get is extreme ki siao-ism. I doubt we can emo face to face anytime. LOL.
Left school at 1.45am. Was super duper tired by then, considering I started my day at 6am. 19 hours of high-ness can kill. Laugh until I had a huge headache. It’s still lingering a little now.
So summary of the day : OMG, LOL, BOL, ROFL, LMAO. =D
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
Tuesday, November 09, 2010 11:15 AM
After days of emotional rollercoaster, I’m now stuck at the top part of the curly track with only gravity acting down on me and zero centrifugal force. Zero force in the forward or backward direction means zero acceleration. High friction counters my forward inertial as i come to a halt. Nothing’s bad about being stuck there. It definitely beats being stuck at the lowest point. At least now I have a good view of my surroundings, a clearer picture of where I want to go. The only bad part is that I know the only way forward is down.
I’ve got the feeling that I haven’t been mugging much since the start of sem although my first tests have seem to show otherwise. I’ve got this scary feeling about my second test though. Which makes me wonder, at the end of my university days, how much have I actually learnt and retained in my limited brain capacity? I guess most of which take up space in my oh-so-small brain capacity would be the good times I spent with my uni friends, my projects and probably the funny r/s problems that suddenly start arising in uni days. I missed my JC days and can already forsee the days of missing uni life. I hope and pray and hope and pray more that my days in uni will be maximised. So please let me get a 3.8 this sem.
Guess praying and hoping and praying and hoping will not do the trick for me. Back to mugging. LOL.
♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road
