Hmmm.. my life doesn’t really have anything to blog about anymore. Yes I know it’s the end of the first week of uni life and you guys all think that wow, I should have like a thousand and one things to say. I admit I do. But somehow or rather, it just doesn’t seem appropriate to blog it online. I guess its like my blog is only reserved for emo blogging, for venting out frustrations that doesn’t last for more than half a day. Well, I guess my exciting uni life’s going to die down again and the muggings going to begin very soon. How exciting that is.

Ah yes, they say both guys and girls become super despo when they come to uni. Ok some seem so. But i’m becoming the other way! I admit that when I was in secondary school, seeing couples on the streets make me yearn for someone whom I can lean on, someone who can lend me his shoulder to, not cry on la, is to fall asleep on. Hee hee. Frankly, I think mugging together in the library is the sweetest thing a couple can do and I still think so.=P (blame it on being in mugger schools for all my life) Oh wells, but now, I’m totally Sian-ed. I see a couple on the streets and I think ‘oh its just another couple doing things I’ve never done’ haha. But who cares? It doesn’t bother me anymore. Weird right? Coz this should be the time when everyone’s worrying about not getting attached and all. And I hear others and even my friends repeating the all-so-familiar line : I want a boyfriend.
Wow. I’m tired of waiting, wondering, watching. Just HOPE that one would fall out from the sky. =P If not, life still has to go on. I still have to mug. Oh wells.

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

It’s supposed to be a day of celebration, joy and laughter. But oh wells, the higher you get the harder you fall. And damn, it’s today. When everyone else is like partying the night away, I sit here battling that all-so-familiar nagging feeling of ‘i-shouldn’t-even-be-here-in-the-first-place’. I wreck people’s lives and best of all, my own. I blame my pathetic life on no one but myself, coz I am fully aware that all that whatever you call that (put in simplified words – hurt) is self-afflicted.

If I hadn’t gone to find you, we wouldn’t end up doing those rubbish to you and making you pissed. If I hadn’t insisted to eat dinner together, we wouldn’t have gone back for nothing. If I hadn’t bugged you to come, you wouldn’t have to purposely leave your friend that early.

If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t be so frustrated now. If I hadn’t made it clear that time, i wouldn’t be so unsure now (how ironic).

If I hadn’t smiled to you initially, you wouldn’t have become a victim of my bitching right now. If I hadn’t tolerated your actions for so long, you wouldn’t have thought that it was acceptable and now being ostracized by the rest.

If I hadn’t allowed her to show you the way, you wouldn’t have known me. If I hadn’t made myself known to you, you wouldn’t have been so severely ignored by me.

I have no right bitching about anyone. You were right. I ain’t very normal as well. To some, perhaps many, I’m weird I guess. So who am I to condemn others? Who am I to ignore others? Who am I to say that they are irritating, weird, disgusting etc?

I never should have been here. I never should have known you, you, you… if I hadn’t existed, I wouldn’t even be hurting myself by myself, I wouldn’t be adding one more sad person to this already imperfect world. I guess it would have been a little more perfect without me.

This is your banana… nanana..
This is my banana….nanananananana…
I cut your banana… nanananana…
Now you have no banana.. hahaha!

Isn’t it a happy hilarious cheer? Then why is it that I am…

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road

Just back from Science O week camp. Frankly speaking, it wasn’t that fantastic. The activities were rather acceptable, some were gross. I HAD TO EAT A KAZHUA-LIKE FRIED INSECT AN A LIZARD. I WAS MADE TO HOLD KAZHUAS (LIVE ONES!!!). If you guys wanna get the details bout sci o week camp, just ask me. I’ll be extremely willing to tell and let you guys interview me about it (plus the complaints too).

Anyways, was wondering about this. What do you do to get someone who’s very very very irritating and disgusting to stop harassing you all the time? I’ve tried like a thousand ways, but some people just don’t seem to get it. REALLY, THEY JUST DON’T SEEM TO GET IT. I’ve tried ignoring, talking back, being super mean in words, etc etc. can’t expect me to punch the person or something right? I just wanna cry when I think of it. Arggh. I very well know that I shouldn’t be so mean to people, but some are just plain annoying, to the extent that even the whole OG knows I’m pissed off. You should have seen my black face that day. Darker than night. Hmmm… I don’t get irritated that easily, so imagine how bad it was. Omg, help la. He ruined my entire o week can. Argghhhh… just wished that I could crush him like a ‘ham jing pang’ and never let him rise again. (taken from a cheer). Omg, life’s so damn screwed. Whatever.

But perhaps these people add variety to our lives. Call me dumb. But wells, life can’t be always rosy and pleasant. As time goes on, dealing with this kind of people let’s you experience life in more ways than one. Oh my, I’m so optimistic. But still, let me complain when I can. Hee =P

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road