Mental Anguish. This is the only two words i can use to describe my 1460 days of hell. Why must you remind me of it? Ok, it wasn't really your fault anyway. Haiz. Yeah, i totally know how you feel right now. Terrible, isn't it? I lived through that for four years straight, and sometimes i'm really amazed by how i managed to persevere. The passion for the sport i guess. Is it that strong to keep on going? When every second of silence is a knife through your heart. When you feel that you are no longer worth a single thought. When your absence doesn't make a difference to the team at all. When you didn't matter a teeny-weeny bit. That suck. That totally sucked. Put the past behind you, Val. No point thinking of it le. It doesn't make you get better.
I... have only myself to blame i guess. But am i going to let myself go through that shit again? I'm scared... Scared of those times. I can't put my fear into words anymore. Phobia. YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND UNTIL YOU'VE GONE THROUGH IT.

♥ Walking on,
my own dusty road